Thursday, April 30, 2009

Newsifact archives to go 3-D!



Newsifact can proudly announce that its extensive archives are now available to view in glorious 3-D, thanks to our friends at Viewmaster. To order your slide set and futuristic viewing device, just follow the link at the bottom of the page.

Three plus two dads to unite in megafilm.



Paramount Pictures has announced that the stars of the 80s comedy film "Three Men and a Baby" are to team up with the stars of 80s sitcom "My Two Dads" in a mega-dad movie. Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson and Tom Selleck from "Three Men and a Baby" and the later sequel "Three Men and a Little Lady" will be joined by Paul Reiser and Greg Evigan from "My Two Dads" along with Robin Weisman who played toddler Mary in the former films and Staci Keanan as Nicole Bradford from the latter show.


The plot will see five retiring dads moving in together to be looked after by Mary and Nancy, who are now hot twenty-something step sisters. There is also a fun twist as both girls are very promiscuous in their lives and fall preganant during the film - but who is the father? Up to thirty men will be lined up as possibilities! The film, to be entitled "Five Men and their Two Ladies" will be released in November.

Confusion as studio announces Matt Damon will star in upcoming The Golden Girls movie.



Widespread confusion has surrounded the announcement by Buena Vista studios that the upcoming The Golden Girls movie, based on the iconinc 80s TV comedy series, will star Matt Damon.


Commenting on the decision, the sudio stated "Obviously, the original format needed to be updated for the big screen. Matt Damon will star as the son of Golden Girl Dorothy. He will live with the daughter of the character Blanche and the ensuing sparks will be the focus of the film, which will be set in the future." It remains unclear whether the original characters, four elderly women who decide to live together in Miami, will appear in the movie at all. However, Buena Vista has confirmed that the original stars will not be involved, something made more final with the recent death of Dorothy Zbornak actress Bea Arthur.

Golden Girls fans have stated that they are "appalled" at the changes to the format.

R.I.P. anti-intellectualism.



All the major US networks (except Fox) clear their prime-time schedules to broadcast an hour-long live Q&A session with a former constitutional law professor who discusses a number of complex issues in great detail and also warns people to wash their hands to prevent the spread of Swine Flu!


I guess the Temptation Island era is over.

Diego Serna: The Second Coming

In the past two weeks Miami FC has been the revelation of USL. A team that came out of the starting blocks with only weeks of preparation yet their showing so far has been impressive. The one man that stands out the most in this team is Diego Serna. This player, at the twilight of his career has shown that he still has what it takes to play at a high level and I was lucky he granted me a few moments of his time.

Uncle Ed: I see you continue playing with number 17 , how do you see the team so far?
Diego Serna: It's a tranquil team, a noble team, a team that you have to guide due to the inexperience of a few players who are playing at this level for the first time. I think the number 17 is an important number for me as it continues the tradition I left behind with the Miami Fusion.
Uncle Ed: Yes, I understand and I have noticed many of the people are coming to the games because of that history that the Miami Fusion left behind (Particularly that final year 2001 with the best record in the league)
Which of the players on the team today do you think is an exciting player to play with?
Diego Serna: I like Leo Inacio Nunes who is a Brazilian player who handles the ball very well, he is a man that can play in a small area and who has a subtle touch. Orlando Bueso is another one who we know playing locally with Cinco Estrellas; he is a small player with an innate ability with the ball and good rhythm and from there on there are a number of players who in the short while I have worked with them have shown very interesting things.
Uncle Ed: What is your favorite Cuban food?
Diego Serna: Well, pinto beans and Pollo Tropical is one of the things I like the most! [Laughs]Uncle Ed: Do you have a message for The Ultras and Miami FC Fans in general?
Diego Serna: To all those people out there that love Soccer its time to support our Soccer team. Miami and Southern Florida is staying without Soccer, this is the only team we have and I'm in this team because I love Soccer and I love this game and I want to invite everyone, be it Sunday or Saturday however the calendar of the team is arranged. What we are doing now is building for the future and the years to come, we are not going to do what happened with Miami Fusion. We want to build this team for South Florida and the people who love Soccer like the Hondurans, Colombians, Brazilians, Argentinians, everyone needs to support Soccer and this is the time and this is the team. I want the fans to be a little patient with us and give us the opportunity to come to the games and get to know us. The fact that the fans come to the stadium it motivates the players and motivates the front office to continue to invest in the team. So please come out, we want to have a great team with world class stars! All pictures by Victor Palkanínec
See more at http://miamifc2.com/

For the actual Spanish language interview please go to the Miami Ultras Spanish section

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

We're tired of being "That guy from that film!"


Jason Robards (1922-2000)

Hal Holbrook (1925-)

Charles Dunning (1923-)

Peter Boyle (1935-)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Burrito Report: Parte Dos Miami FC vs Canadian Vatos and Rhino-cerotes!

Hola South Florida futbol fans! (Click on highlighted words if you don't know the meaning of the word) Burritos mami come from Toluca this week and it a good thing cause with that Cochino Flu ting going it dangerous to be in Mexico now! Todays Burrito have mucho to talk about. Primero, Burrito happy Miami FC beat them Canadian Putos by 2-1. Goals by Burritos carnal Diego Serna and Leo Inacio and then them chingones from Canada score one but who really cares? No? The Blues won and that all that matters!
Burrito like FIU stadiums, it very nice and cozy and makes Burrito wanna put on a poncho and live there forevers pero then Burrito see it half plastic for grass and that no good cause that no good! Burrito cant even smoke that grass! No good for balls controls and Burrito like havings mucho balls control! It make burrito feel good and all the mamacitas like that.
Pero bueno, then Miami FC play back in Lockhearts versus those Rhino-cerotes from almost Canada, or someplace gawd forget about cause Burrito no care and unfortunetedly Miami FC lose and that make Burrito sad, pero it ok Burrito forgive players since Serna and Leo Inacio was not playings. Next games is Saturday May 2 against the Charleston Battery at Lockhart Stadium. All Burritos homeboys need to go or Burrito hit you on head! Be sure to go to http://www.miamifc.com/for ticket info or call: 305-728-2606
Burrito need Mami FC players to concentrate next game and not let them Chicken farmers from Charleston score! Last game Burrito was eating quesadilla with Corona beers in Lockheart Stadiums an the other team score Gol! Burrito almost chokes, It make bad for Burritos digestion when other team score! So Miami FC players hears Burrito now! If you let other team score.... Ah Chihuahua Burrito get mad and... Burrito get mad!

Burrito read Miami Ultras site and see Debate on witch Futbol stadium is betters. Lockhearts or FIU. Burrito tink it no matter. When Burrito first move from Toluca to Homestead Burrito used to takes the bus all the ways to Lockhearts to see Miami Fusion! So all you chingones cry babies need to get some huevos like Burrito and supports Miami FC in good and bad no matters where they are at. Miami FC is all Burrito half now and if South Florida lose this teams then Burrito will go on quesadilla strike! No more quesadillas ever!
Ok, now Burrito go and eat some enchiladas! Hasta los huevos and silla at Lockhearts this Saturdays!
Check out this video by a Miami FC Fan. Not too good but you get to see Diego's gol!

For more on Burrito join him on myspace!

Reports: Cheney, Rumsfeld arrested in D.C. park for "lewd conduct."



Reports have surfaced that former Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld were arrested on Tuesday in a Washington D.C. park for "lewd conduct." According to several witnesses, the two men disappeared into some nearby bushes carrying various pictures and materials related to 9/11, a strange white powder and several toy tanks. Police were called after visitors to the park heard unusual sounds coming from their location, just a few miles from the White House.

D.C. police are refusing to confirm the incident, and have denied reports that the toy tanks, white powder and 9/11 materials were being used, as has been suggested by some witnesses, for sexual purposes. Representatives for the two men have declined to comment other than dismissing the story as "overblown nonsense."

Rhinos hurt the Blues, Southern Legion has new website, pictures and more

The Rochester Raging Rhinos ended Miami FC's winning streak with a 2-1 victory at Lockhart Stadium. I wasn't able to attend this game but knowing Leo Inacio was hurt and seeing Diego Serna getting a Red vs Montreal it was apparent this was going to be an up hill battle. South Florida fans can rest assured we have a team that is still up in the standings and will have both players ready for the next game Saturday May 2 against the Charleston Battery at Lockhart Stadium. Be sure to go to http://www.miamifc.com/ for ticket info or call: 305-728-2606

The Southern Legion have started a new website that you can see at http://www.southernlegion.tk/ It's still a little raw but be sure to check it out in the days to come!
It's good to see that Miami FC is attracting more fans and with the addition of the Southern Legion we now have 2 Supporters groups that are ready to bleed Blue! Miami FC till the end!

Also, keep checking the Miami Ultras site. They will be updating the Spanish part of the site and keep any eye out for the second "Mindless Thoughts" Podcast that should be out on Wednesday! We hope to bring you special guests in the weeks to come.

Following are a few fan pictures at the FIU game between Miami FC and the Montreal Impact:



Our good friend Victor Palkaninec has more pictures up at his site. Be sure to check it out! Go here: http://miamifc2.com/

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Oui Oui! Miami Defeats Montreal 2-1

Miami FC remain undefeated after last nights victory over the Montreal Impact by 2-1 on goals by Serna (penalty) and Leo Inacio. Gjertsen scored for Montreal.
The Miami Herald reports a very low attendance but there must be a mistake, it looked like at least 3 thousand out there as Miami FC played for the first time at FIU stadium.
Montreal dictated play in the first half and parts of the second but it is goals that win games and the rowdy Miami Ultras never ceased to chant and sing for their team.
"I am very happy with the players, with the work they put in the last twenty days, for this team to come out and win their first games is very impressive. It's like the Miami FC jersey is their second skin" said head coach Zinho on the Miami FC site
Miami will be without star forward Diego Serna for their game vs the Rochester Raging Rhinos after he was ejected after receiving a second yellow at the end of the game.
South Florida fans need to go out and support Miami FC as they play vs the Rhinos at Lockhart Stadium this Sunday April 26 at 6pm. We need everyone out there!
Vamos Miami!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tailgate info at FIU Stadium and more for the Miami FC vs Montreal Impact game

Ladies and Gentlemen we are only a day away from the first match in FIU stadium taking place tomorrow April 24, 2008 at 8 pm between the Montreal Impact and our very own Miami FC.
Last week we saw a rowdy crowd at Lockhart Stadium see the "Blues" defeat the Cleveland City Stars by 3-1 thanks to a masterful display of skills from veteran forward Diego Serna who scored and provided two assist making him the USL player of the week!

Now it is time for Miami fans to show their support of the team, we need thousands of people to show up and make the Impact realize they are in our home turf!

The Miami Ultras are organizing a Tailgate party at FIU stadium starting at 6 pm by Gate 4, just look for the flags! BYOB and get ready to learn some new chants! Go to the Ultras site and read Brian Corey's blog called "Montreal is Going Down". Good stuff and incidentally the Impact are totally going down! Uncle Ed's prediction 2-0 (Goals by Serna and Marcina!)
If you don't have tickets yet hurry! FIU has announced a special ticket plan: Seats are available for $5 at the school's arena box office or by calling 305-FIU-GAME or go to your nearest Farm Store (La Vaquita!!!) and get tickets for only $5!!!
All pictures by Victor Palkanínec

Montreal Impact at Miami FC (FIU Stadium)
Friday April 24 2009-8:00 PM
Be there! Vamos Miami FC!

Fox hires former president Bush to head animation commissioning department.



Fox Studios have announced that former US president George W. Bush has been appointed to be the studio's new Head of Commissioning for Animated Television.

"We believe that the President has a record of making the tough calls and staying the course," said one Fox representative, adding "He is simply the right choice." President Bush expressed delight at the news exclaiming "This is a real honor...and no, I won't be bringing back Futurama. They were right to cancel it based on the intelligence they had at the time."

Is this the new Susan Boyle?



She really does sing quite well.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Blame Canada, Official Miami FC chant vs Montreal Impact (video)

Burrito want Miami Ultras and Southern Legion to learn and sing this song for the Miami FC vs Montreal Impact game this Friday!
Vamos Miami! Lets show them putos they come to Miami to lose!




Blame Canada, Blame Canada
It seems that everythings gone wrong
since Canada came along,
blame Canada, blame Canada
They're not even a real country anyway!


Attention Miami Soccer Fans:
FIU has announced a special ticket plan: Seats are available for $5 at the school's arena box office or by calling 305-FIU-GAME.
Montreal Impact at Miami FC (FIU Stadium)
Friday April 24 2009-8:00 PM
Be there! Vamos Miami FC!

Politico plays the unsubtle Obama-Osama dominoes game...


Two white guys looking left gesturing with their hands...snap. And...aaah...


UPDATE: Bin Laden changed to Holder! Players shuffled around!

This domino game is getting really exciting!

Madonna "Horrified" by Slumdog girl sale denial.



Pop star Madonna has said she is "horrified and appalled" by the news that Rubina Ali, the 9 year-old star of the recent film Slumdog Millionaire is not being put up for sale by her father Rafiq Qureshi. "That is like totally selfish," said Madonna "My private jet was like ready to fly out there and now I am f**ked."


On a related note - Making a great point through simple juxtaposition of two headlines and great use of a semi-colon. Well done Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

Pictures: Miami FC vs Cleveland and a Great Blog by Reuters

As mentioned over on the Miami Ultras site, Simon Evans of Reuters wrote a great blog about his experience at Lockhart Stadium on Saturday. Simon refers to the ambiance at the game:
"It was noisy and fun. It was a proper football crowd and much as I enjoy the NFL and NBA experience I didn’t miss the loud musical interludes, the cheerleaders or the constant time-outs."
For more go to Reuters Soccer Blog
We hope to see Simon at the FIU game this Friday!

Our good friend Victor Palkanínec over at the Miami FC Blog took over 1800 pictures of the Miami FC vs Cleveland City Stars game! Here are a few:

All pictures by Victor Palkanínec

Attention Miami Soccer Fans:
FIU has announced a special ticket plan: Seats are available for $5 at the school's arena box office or by calling 305-FIU-GAME.
Montreal Impact at Miami FC (FIU Stadium)
Friday April 24 2009-8:00 PM
Be there! Vamos Miami FC!

Is Dick Cheney a sleeper cell?




Ok, so he isn't dark skinned and his middle name isn't Hussein, but consider this:

In 1990, Dick Cheney (Then Defense Secretary under Bush Sr.) helped, with the aid of either faked or non-existent satellite imagery showing a massive troop build up on the Iraqi-Saudi border, to persuade that country that Iraq was about to invade it. So, the government there relented and let American troops into the Muslim holy land. Lots of people got really upset about that including one Osama Bin Laden.

Only later did the media discover that the whole "troop buildup" and "imminent post-Kuwait Saudi invasion" was a lie. See here or just Google "Cheney fake satellite Iraq."


Anyway, flash forward 11 years and you get 9/11. Was Cheney (now having succesfully chosen himself to be George W. Bush's running mate and scaling back focus on terrorism), kind of indirectly responsible?

Here is some weird speculation about further changes he underwent after 1993 - more programming from his terrorist masters?:

From Talking Points Memo

So in 2003, Cheney's fake intelligence fetish gets the US to invade a Iraq - a secular dictatorship - strenghtening Islamist Iran, causing loads of Muslim anger across the world etc. as well as getting the US to commit torture, open secret prisons... - all the stuff that made it far more easy to hate America...


...not to mention upping spending whilst cutting taxes for the rich - effectively guaranteeing the US goes bankrupt. And just in case that didn't work, de-regulating Wall St., thus causing the collapse of some of the biggest US companies...

So why does no-one ever ask if Dick Cheney is a sleeper cell? He's definitely been more effective at almost destroying America than Osama Bin Laden.