Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ray Mears banned from Brazil for gorging on wild food.




British survival expert and BBC television presenter Ray Mears has been thrown out of Brazil, following an incident that allegedly occurred deep inside the country's vast Amazon rainforest. According to a statement released by the Brazilian government, Mr Mears "Was found to have repeatedly gorged on wild food items in protected reservations, leading to a dangerous decimation of the local environment."

Mears, whom critics have noted is somewhat obese for a person who spends much of his time in the wild, has denied the charges. In a statement issued by the BBC, Mears noted "As an iconic living legend with no peers, it is difficult to bring my survival skills to the world. But my knowledge, my expertise, my passion, my greatness, my legendary status and my massive abilities are a gift that only I have. I utterly reject the accusations levelled at me by the Brazilian government."


Mears also accused the Brazilian government of inventing the accusations because they were jealous of his vast skills, noting "I went to the Amazon to teach the natives there my extraordinary and great skills. For that I should be applauded as a living legend and an icon. Instead the Brazilian government invents this false charge. My weight comes not from my travels, but from my binge-eating when I return to my native England and I only binge eat because people don't seem to understand how great I am. They even tell me that I have an ego problem and that I am not very likeable. Can you believe that?"

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