Guy Ritchie confirmed as first guest on "This Is Your Wife."

A new, sexier version of the long-running television series This Is Your Life is set to hit screens this month. The show, called This Is Your Wife, will be hosted by former This Is Your Life presenter Michael Aspel and will surprise celebrity husbands with undercover footage of their wives' infidelities and bad behaviour.

It has been confirmed that the first guest will be British director Guy Ritchie, whose troubled marriage to pop-diva Madonna has been in the headlines in recent weeks. According to Aspel "We have some really juicy guests lined up. All sorts of men that Madonna has had flings with. It should be a lot of fun."

Britain: Knife crime and bad food.

A stunning new theory about the cause of Britain's current epidemic of knife crimes has put the blame squarely on Britain's notoriously bad food. The theory by Dr Charles Streasur of Hopkins University suggests that the lack of proper food cooked by parents leaves teens unfamiliar with what knives are for. "Look at it this way," says Dr Streasur, "If your working-class mum makes you Pot Noodles everyday, then you are going to know full well what a fork is - but a knife will be alien to you."

Dr Streasur also added "So instead of cutting a juicy steak, you end up stabbing someone on a London street."

Israeli government launches phone poll "Veng-athon" to find best punishment for bulldozer killer.

For several days, the Israeli government has been scratching its head as to how best to respond to the recent bulldozer rampage committed by a deranged Arab citizen of East Jeruslalem. Since the man appears not to have belonged to a terrorist group, the government has been hard pressed to find an appropriate way to react. Now, the authorities have announced the entire matter will be decided on live TV, with a mammouth "veng-athon" - the final form of retribution will be decided in a phone poll conducted across the country. To send in your ideas, go to www.vengathon.com

At present, the most popular suggestions are:

1. Bulldoze his home.

2. Put a dozing bull inside his home.

3. Bulldoze his neighbours home (to send a message).

4. Bulldoze his grave.

5. Make his family live inside a bulldozer for a year.

6. Tell his family a dose of bull. Something really untrue.

7. Build a big wall around a bulldozer (not sure why).

8. Bulldoze the house of a man who looks like him.

9. Put up checkpoints between the man's kitchen, living-room and bedroom.

10. Find a man called Bill Doze and make him feel a bit bad.

Just a quick reminder, we've all lost someone we loved...

Now, go away!

Despite controversy, Halifax bank renews contract with Mugabe's son.

To millions, he is known simply as "The man from the Halifax" - but Howard Mugabe, the public face of the British banking giant Halifax has a controversial relative. His estranged father, President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe has become an infamous tyrant - but that hasn't stopped Howard from developing his own career, image and identity - despite calls from some quarters for the banking giant to drop him.

This week, the Halifax bank confirmed that it was renewing Howard Mugabe's contract. "I try to focus on the work. Dad and I haven't really spoken to each other for years. But a little of what I do in those ads is for him," says Howard, adding "I try to send him a smile, or a glance and hope that there's a part of him that is proud of me. But I know that he has done some very bad things."

Lead contamination causes Chinese Olympic swimmers to sink.

China has withdrawn its entire swimming team from the Olympic Games following an embarrasing time trial, during which almost all of the country's competing swimmers sank to the bottom of the pools. Tests later revealed that lead, used in a wide variety of products in China, including children's toys, was behind the problem. Lead contamination affects swimmer buoyancy, causing athletes to simply sink to the bottom of the water.

Kremlin hires Patrick Stewart to double for Lenin during restoration.

The embalmed body of the Soviet Union's first leader has been on display in a special mausoleum in Moscow since Valdimir Ilyich Lenin's death in 1924. But, for years Moscow authorities have been insisting that the preserved body is in need of vital restoration work to prevent its condition deteriorating. But rather than present an empty tomb to the public, the Russian authorities have hired noted British actor Patrick Stewart to double for the communist leader during the one month that Lenin's body will be removed for extensive re-embalming. Stewart is reportedly being paid $2 million for the job, which will require him to lie, perfectly still and with eyes closed in Lenin's mauseleum. His hair will be dyed a characteristic red, and he will also grow a beard for the part.